I haven’t updated in a long time, and i’ve just checked out my website now. Somehow, a post managed to appear by itself. hmmm, i wonder how that happened. i hope you’re managing alright james. microwave food will make you fat, though there’s no chance of that happening to you!

i’ve been home now for almost 3 weeks, and its been interesting. first of all, a smoking ban started on june 1st, where people cant smoke in restaurants, public places, and even the beach. so basically, you’re restricted to smoking in just your houses(aka bathrooms) or in your cars, although there’s a little ambiguity about the car thing. rumor is, even that is illegal. and i came home on the 2nd! a day too late! grrr, i am so pissed about it.

its really, really weird living with my parents again. i cant go out anytime i want to, and i cant do anything i want to. on the bright side, i dont have to do my own laundry seriously though, it was really good to see my family and friends again. my sister has went through everything i brought back, and i really think i wont have anything left to bring back home to chambana. it feels so good to be able to drive again! i’ve been literally hogging the car. i am really not used to the heat anymore, its so unbearably hot and humid!

i miss chambana though. Its not really chambana that i miss i guess, its the people. i miss james. oh well, i’m going to see him in august. 2 more months to go

i got a haircut today. apparently my hair is in really bad shape. uh-oh. and there i was thinking it was at least in decent, if not good, shape.

pictures to follow soon.

There are a couple of things i want to write about in this post.

First of all, I can’t believe i’m leaving in 3 days. When i come back to campus, it wont be the same anymore. The most important person to me here wont be around anymore.It’s not going to be the same without you and i wish you didn’t have to go, but i know you have to. So we’ll say goodbye for now, and wait for november.

Secondly, the time i spent apart from my family made me realize how blessed i am to have them. Despite the frustrations at home, i wouldn’t change it for anything. Ever since i found out about my adoption, i’ve wanted to find my real parents. I wanted to meet the woman who gave me life. Now, finally, after all those years of wishing and hoping, i’m saying goodbye to her. She may have given birth to me, but my parents who adopted me and loved me their own gave me my life and everything i have in it. I am grateful to my parents, and i know i dont say it enough, but thank you.

Apologies for not updating in a while, but i’ve been pretty busy this past week. Had my last final on friday, looked frantically for a dress to wear to James’s comissioning ceremony (its where he gets his 2nd Lieutenant bars), helped him move out of his room, moved my own stuff out of my house, and finally move both our stuff into a new house! now do you see what i mean when i say it was a busy week? both of us have a lot of stuff, and we had to make around 4 or more car trips to and from the new house when we were moving in stuff.and did i mention that hammie escaped in the new house, and we spent a day looking for him and trying to coax him out of hiding by bribing him with food?

The house is finally unpacked, and its so cozy. i’ve started cooking again (i didnt cook for the past 3 weeks, because of finals), and i’ve been hanging out with Jenny (James’s sister) during the day while James is at work. He works in the armory on campus, as a goldbar recruiter.

pictures of the house, and the graduation ceremony will be up soon, maybe after this weekend. this weekend, we’re going to Chicago again, for James’s graduation party and to send off his family on a cruise to the caribbean.

Have to go get stuff ready for the dinner party tonight! see you guys in Brunei soon.

James, this is for you:

I want to be genuine, and spontaneous and me,
but you’ve got to help me.
You’ve got to hold out your hand
even when thats the last thing i seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the bland stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you’re kind and gentle and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!
with your power to touch me into feeling
you can breath life into me.

Thank you for caring for me last night.

Im going home in exactly 23 days. 23 days until:

(1) i have to say goodbye to James for the summer

(2) i have to face old memories and finally decide on what to do

(3) i can just drive to nowhere in the middle of the night, just to think

(4) i can meet and hug some of the few people i care about in this world (HOLEY!)

(5) i can go to my favorite spot at my favorite beach, looking out at that gorgeous sea.

(6) i can eat nasi katok!

I got James a present for both his graduation and comissioning ceremony. i got him a nintendo wii! We bought more games today, including Super Mario Galaxy, and Spyro, of course. (my favorite game ever!). So now, we have about 12 games to try out. We were going to buy Mario Kart, but the shop was out of it. Oh well, i guess that will have to wait. Oh finals week, when are you going to be over so that i can play the wii.

I actually wanted to buy the PS3 for myself, but i guess playing on James’s wii will have to suffice for now. I want to get a PS3 or a PS2 for myself because i really want to play the Grand Theft Auto IV game. Oh well, at least i get to keep his wii when he goes to Korea in February, although he would reclaim it once i go home for good.

I told a handful of people about my website, such as my sister, and a couple of close friends back in Brunei. Now, looking at the stats for the website, i have around 36 visits in about 4 days. its technically about a day or so, cause i only told close friends about it yesterday. Most of the visits came from Brunei (i was surprised to see some hits from tutong!) and a couple from Egypt, and the UK. And another thing, who do i know who lives in Oslo, Norway?

if you’re reading this, leave a comment and tell me who you are. i’m curious to see who’s been visiting my site.

There are new photo albums in the photo gallery. go to www.farizah.net/photos to check it out. and in case you were wondering, no, those are not my dogs. they’re james’s dogs. Aren’t they just so adorable?!

Hey everyone!  This is my new site.  James is helping me set it up, and it should be up and going in the next few days.

Yay! I’m so excited!

Love you, James!